{friday confessional}

Greys Anatomy- check. Diet Coke- check. External monitor because my laptop screen is too small to photoshop- check. Time to sit down and let it all go. I haven't confessed in a while lets see how it feels.

I make the bed at 8pm everyday. Right before the hubs gets home from work so he thinks that I am on the ball.

Its all part of my facade.

The other part is the facade is that I just put in a new Scentsy bar in the pot to mask the smell coming from my sink. I didnt feel like doing the dishes. Again.

I also do a mad dash to clean up the house before he comes home too.

Maybe I should put some work into my physical appearance seeing as the house is all lovely now. nah..

I also would like to confess that I let Ryan play with his legos that were supposed to be for Christmas. He was bored and I was running out of ideas.

Time to go link up with Glam, your turn!

{friday confessional}

• I havent gotten out of my sweats in almost 2 weeks so when I got dressed today to visit my lovely doctor it felt weird
• so of course I have also gone without a bra for the last while, these ladies are so small I dont need much support. I even went to the park yesterday without one on- dont worry I was wearing a baggy sweatshirt
• this morning I forgot how to put make up on and botched my mascara pretty bad
• I havent shaved my legs in two weeks. the hair is starting to get soft and curly like man legs
• I havent done my hair either, I think it will be permanently stuck in a messy bun on the top of my head
• I am stinky
• oh yes its all kinds of sexy at my house
• this woman thing is hard work!

friday confessional

its been a long week lets all sit down and laugh that one off.. let your hair down, kick off your shoes... but for the love of pete, keep your pants on. If you are my mother you shouldnt read this, there is mention of sex.

• my SON has 2 baby dolls that he shhh's, rocks, sings, burps, and gives kisses too
• he wants to take them out in public but they are our "stay at home toys"
• I am waiting for the day he nurses them too
• he also can put bobby pins in my hair and use a makeup brush
• he wont wear a hat but will wear a headband all day long
• this is evidence that the hubs works too much
• we need more testosterone in my house
• but there will be no baby making anytime soon
• because I found out today that my migraine medication has a side effects no one told me about
• 10% chance of birth defects
• feeling blessed right now
• the hubs not so much
• most birth control's have a side effect of cerebral swelling which for the normal person is fine, I am not the normal person
• so cant have a baby.. risk is too high
• cant go on the pill my head will explode...
• you know what that means
• I believe the term I heard today was "glove before you love"
• yeehaw baby.... wait no baby, thats the point.

Your turn, time to be real... remember that? Air out your dirty laundry for all of us to read and then laugh at til we pee our panties. 

Ok maybe that only happens to me...

post your URL in my comment box

{friday confessional}

link up, play along. yes YOU this is your personal invitation

I am a worrier. I have been since I was little, and about everything! Its amazing I have not lost my mind..

oh wait. I have.

My current worry is Ryan, well obviously. Not in the traditional sense however. I worry that he is too loud, too wiggly, too annoying when I am in public. For example.

Church

Grocery store

Restaurants

That dang street faire 

My friends houses 

well not you guys that have little kids, the ones who's kids are all grown and you dont have to childproof anymore and arent used to the "busy-ness" of toddlers

You catch my drift. I feel bad when we are at church in the adult class (my son is a few months shy of nursery still) and all of you guys are sitting there KID-LESS enjoying your hour of peace and quiet to yourself and here comes my little wiggle worm climbing up your lap (stu hardy) and wanting to color with you or just plain being loud. I am never sensitive of it when there are other kids around and its not just us thats being distracting. But I feel bad when I bring my son into your quite/relaxing adult time

-hey grocery shopping alone can be relaxing-

and ruin it for you. Most of the time you planned not to have your kids there, you got a babysitter or something. But yet BAM here we are :)

Everyone tells me not to worry about it but I just feel SO bad. I have seen the way people roll their eyes when other kids are being obnoxious and I guess I never want to be the reason that happens. So I always get up and leave or have stopped going places because he is with me 90% of the time, the other 10% he is sleeping. 

I want to stop worrying about bugging everyone and being obnoxious but its still so hard and I feel so bad! Even though we were all kids once and most of us have kids.

Go figure.

Maybe its just because I have come across some R-U-D-E people that I am now paranoid

after some feed back I guess its that you have all payed your dues when it comes to little kids and so I feel bad making you relive the *fun*

Friday Confessional

visit glam

Confessing my love of TV today! I watch a few a LOT of shows so in true Friday spirit I will share the very, very long list with you. Try not to get bored before you get to the end or judge me because of the "awesomeness" of a show or 2. I am not perfect, I love drama on TV, what can I say!

Greys Anatomy

One Tree Hill

Private Practice

30 Rock

Modern Family

Cougar Town

The Vampire Diaries

Chuck

Make It Or Break It

Project Runway

Community

The Millionaire Matchmaker

Shear Genius

16 and Pregnant

Castle

Kendra

The Price Of Beauty (jessica simpson's show)

Jamie Olivers Food Revolution

Justified

Tori and Dean

Law and Order SVU

19 Kids and counting

The bachelor/bachelorette

Royal Pains

SYTYCD

Secret Life of the American Teenager

Pretty Little Liars

Lie to Me

Loosing it with Jillian

The Gates

Boston Med

Rookie Blue

Teen Mom

Covert Affairs

NICU

Bachelor Pad

Entourage

House

Keeping up with the Kardashians

Real Housewives of OC

The Hills

Dr Phil

Ellen 

American Idol

Survivor

Fringe

The Unit

24

Friends

Say Yes To The Dress

Arrested Development

Chelsea Lately

Desperate Housewives

Giulianna and Bill

Kourtney and Khloe

Parenthood

The Office

and of course Yo Gabba Gabba

Now that you have had a heart attack let me tell you that these shows are not all on at the same time! I swear tv has 3 different seasons of show premiers. Some of these have been canceled, and some have lost my interest but I still keep them in the back of my mind or watch them if they are on and I am trying to cook or something. I do have 40 some odd timers on my DVR, some are the hubs I swear though. I used to watch other stuff that I didnt include in the list. If I got bored of it after a few seasons or it became too sleazy or creepy (like my HBO and Showtime ones) then I will stop. Obviously I have far better things to keep my interest.

I know I will think of more later, probably in the middle of the night when I'm just about to fall asleep. 

Wow I am almost embarrassed to post this. 

Please still love me.

Link up and play along! If you confess today leave the link in my comment box so I can go read them and share the comment love

Friday Confessional

I confess I put my child on a leash. 

ooh the shock. ok I will give you a moment to compose yourselves..

ME? LAUREN? I am that mom? You bettcha!

So sue me people- I am not a bad mom. Don't look at me like I can not control my child because I CAN. Getting him on a leash as some might call it is not a sign of a bad mother or someone who has no parenting skills at all. It is not about keeping him in line or obedience in public. It has nothing to do with discipline at all. I can do that just fine from a shopping cart 

(wait who am I kidding, this is my son we are talking about hahahahahahaha)

 I choose to keep him SAFE from all the creepers and weirdos out there. Just because I choose to do it by keeping him "linked" to me I get dirty looks, everywhere we go. It makes me crazy, I feel bad for the poor old grumpy person in the produce section that dare makes a face at me cause they have a tomato flying toward them next time. Now that we have sweet "walky feet" he wants to use them all the time so this is the best option for us. I have nightmares of loosing him and watching poor families on the news begging for the safe return of their kiddos makes it worse. If there was something I can do to insure that there is no chance he could be snatched from me I would do it. All it takes is a second when your back is turned. 

So..... Introducing,

"pack pack"

Ryan had a hard time saying back pack and his other monkeys are already named Joey and Henry so we will just call him pack pack. He LOVES him!! When we pulled it out of the box Ryan's eyes got SO big and he gave him lots of hugs and even a kiss. He is so proud to carry his pack pack around and thinks its so funny when people comment on it. Unless we pull the leash out of the pocket then they give me the evil eye cause BAM all the sudden its not cute anymore ;) 

Ok continuing on.. we love our pack pack. its the best. Its the cutest when I put Ry in his car seat and give him pack pack to play with, he talks to him and plays with the leash tail and pats him on the back.

 I never feel back about strapping it on and letting him run for it.

Friday confessional + Mommy moment monday = this blog post

Yay for me I can do math..

I confess that I left my baby boy home alone (and I mean with his daddy) all weekend long! I got lucky enough to have AWESOME girlie friends to go to the beach with :) I also confess that I cried a lot on friday and a lot of those tears were cause I was so sad to be without him. In 14 months the longest I had been apart from his was about 8 hours or so, that that was only a handful of times. Other than that we pretty much spend all our time together which is awesome. I nursed him for the last time ever right before I left and said my good-byes!

Next I confess that as soon as I got in the car I was ELATED! holy crap a whole weekend with just adults, a purse instead of a diaper bag, REAL jewelery that I cant ever normally wear, sleeping in, and being able to just leave the hotel in a seconds notice cause I didnt have to grab snacks, sippy cup, extra diapers/wipes, all the toys of the moment, stroller... the list goes on. All I had to worry about was ME! It was so much fun I needed it so bad and I am lucky to have a hubs that gets that.

Lastly I confess that by Sunday morning I was ready to go home, I missed my baby boy and my big boy, I missed sloppy kisses and tripping over toys, I missed hearing DADA even though I want it to be MAMA. I missed cutting up hot dogs into little, safe pieces. I missed the smell of his nasty doggy blanket that reminds me of morning breath. It was the best when I got home that night and he wrapped his arms around me and patted me on the back and wouldnt let go.

Now its mommy moment monday. Today I was really tired from my party weekend and Ryan was SUPER fussy and freaking out like a lion on the discovery channel chasing and then eating a poor zebra or something. He had a very hard day not nursing and it was a crazy wreck at my house. He wanted like oxygen but like I said above.. we are DONE. And so in true crazy mommy fashion I thought for a moment.....

Wow it would be nice to get away for a little about now. 

I cant win but I sure do love the kid

belated friday confessional.. the bird edition

Inspired by Glamazon

I confess I have a fear of birds, or more accurately named Ornithophobia. 

Some of you probably already know that about me but you have no clue how far it goes. 

I have been scared of birds since before I could really talk. My aunt took me down to the water to feed ducks and geese and pretty sure one of them got too close, its where it all began. At least thats what we think happened I will probably never know exactly and its gotten worse as I got older. Which is odd, it should have gone away seeing as I know for the most part birds are harmless creatures. oh well. 

I am scared of all birds.. humming birds and sparrows to an ostrich. Chickens, roosters, and turkeys are the worst. I think they are so yucky looking I cant even watch them on TV.. which is lame cause one of Ryans favorite Einstein videos has them on it and I have to fast forward or close my eyes. There is a really cool pet store in the mall that I cant go in cause there is a 4 foot long (with tail) parrot in there that they let out of the cage. well even if it was in the cage it still creeps me out. 

Sometimes I have nightmares that they are chasing me or in the bottom of my bed. I will wake up screaming and sweating like a pig, brad just laughs and rolls over now. then I cant go back to sleep cause I am totally paranoid!!

Their feet and their beak are the worst part I feel like they are going to peck/claw my eyeballs out with those things.

One time I turned the page in my magazine and there was a huge ostrich face on the page and I screamed/cried.

I have never seen the movie Birds. People always ask me if thats why I have the fear but honest to goodness if I ever see that show I will have to be sedated and locked away in a padded room for the rest of forever. 

One time at BYU I couldnt leave my dorm to go to the cafeteria cause there was a swarm of seagulls outside on the lawn and in the sky and everywhere else. 

Then another time in Puerto Rico we were waiting for our ferry and there were pigeons all over. I was crying and having a panic attack so my sweet husband spent over an hour shooing them away for me. It was very cute of him. 

If there is a crow in the parking lot I will walk out of my to get to my car. 

My mom's neighbor has chickens and roosters so I cant go over there unless they put them away.

So yeah, its pretty embarrassing and ridiculous, Brad suggested hypnotism but then I might have to hold one and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. 

Dont laugh too hard! Now its your turn.. Grab the button and go for it  

Now its your turn.......

Almost Friday

i have been thinking about this all day :)


this is round 2. after reading round 1 i realized i sounded very grumpy. i got some sleep. lets try this again

*I vacuum alot. it always happens at weird times of the day, mostly really late at night. Its therapeutic

* I also move my piles of stuff around when I am stressed. I say move piles cause I dont have enough room in our tiny apartment to be truly organized.

* I never eat the last bite of anything! I have no good reason why, just dont 

*I forgot sun screen today and poor little ryan now looks like a tomato. darn that big bald head of his

*I hate dishes. they will sit in the sink for days.

* I am really bad at sending cards and gifts. I never do it. ever. I feel really bad about it but I guess not enough to change ;)

* I am very very grateful for when I receive cards and gifts in the mail

* Maybe I will try harder

* Just found out the the apartment complex we live at has a gym! wasted 5 months of awesome work out time.

* however its Thursday night and I have only gone once this week


* I crave sunshine. I feel like my little herb's who will stretch nice and tall to reach the sun rays. 


* I think I have built up a tolerance of my deodorant. brad says this is normal, i wonder if he is just trying to be nice


* my baby will be 1 in less than a week and sometimes it makes me cry and sometimes it makes me happy


* I think he is cutter than some kids out running errands or at the grocery store


* I am really bad at curling my hair, its embarrassing


* I have had polish on my toes since I was 8 or so. non stop.


* Yesterday I tried to wear red lip stick. not so good with my coloring, we will stick to pinks 


* I LOVE pink. so much that one time I put Ryan in a pink dress just to see what he would look like as a girl

feeling good now...... your turn ;)

{Friday Confessional}

Alright, I think that this might make my Fridays even more wonderful. I am sitting here trying to figure out how therapeutic to let this post be.. do I confess all of my weird, embarrassing habits? an awkward tween-age story or 2? we shall see week to week how it goes. maybe some days it will just be whatever i need to get off my chest. like today------

Brad got me a net book. I love it. a lot.

then we got internet, real live, we-pay-for-it internet.

so now i dont have to sit in 1 little corner of our apartment to do my blogging and internet dream shopping while "borrowing it from our neighbors"

now i can go everywhere

the kitchen. the family room, baby's room, the bedroom (sorry babe) and yes the bathroom. dont judge too harshly. this is my confession.

now its your turn! I am not original in my post, I snagged this button from Glamazon, click on it to send you to her page so feel free to take it, try it out, you might LOVE it!