on preschool

This crazy kid starts preschool in 17 days. Someone hold me now. I swear I blinked for a second because I feel like it was yesterday that I held him for the first time. But then again, I cant remember what my life was like without him. I thought I knew what love was, I thought I knew pure joy. Nothing compares to being a mom. It may be the hardest thing I have ever done but by far the most rewarding.

Because every morning I am greeted with this sweet face and a kiss on the cheek saying "good morning mama" So now becomes the hard part about being a blog mom. There comes a day when talking about my kid's bathroom habits and freely sharing embarrassing comments and ridiculous tantrums needs to halt. He is not a baby anymore and I would never want him to look back and be embarrassed by the things I say and share about him as a big kid. He is growing up so fast and I would never want his teachers or his friends parents to look at him differently because of something they read here.

I will still tell stories, I will still post pictures and share funny sweet things he says to me. But we are going to make a shift. There will be a little more Weston and a little less Ryan, but I still love them both the same.

So like I said, he is starting preschool soon. I am so excited and ready for this phase of our lives. We have had a great, but very challenging few years under our belts and I am looking forward to the time apart where he can grow and learn how to be independent and I can dote over West more than I am able to now.

Preschool was something I never ever thought I would do. We are still planning on homeschooling after all. So how does that fit in to the equation? One of my best girl friends has an in home preschool. 10 kids, 2 teachers, both of which I know and we have the same religious beliefs. Not that I am against any other faiths at all or that faith will be taught in his school- but I know for sure that we are on the same wave length and have the same out look on life. We operate under the same set of inspired guidelines. I do not give trust to others easily when it comes to the care of my children and the thought of them being away from me terrifies me-- unless that complete trust is there. I know I can trust his teachers and the home he will be in to be a safe, uplifting environment. That is worth every penny on the planet to me.

He is going 2 days a week for 3 hours. During that time I am planning on playing with Weston, going grocery shopping when the sun is still up (I seriously go at 10pm) and being able to schedule photo shoots and run my business so that when hubs is home we can actually have some time as a family to relax and play. I am also going to start researching home school curriculum options. I have 2 years before we start but I want to get a heads up and really have a plan set in stone.

He is a pretty smart cookie going into this. He knows all his letters and most of the sounds they make, all his colors, shapes, understands the jist of basic addition and subtraction and can recognize a few words. I am so excited for all the things he is going to learn and the new friends he will meet.

I am very, very nervous as to how he will react that first few days when I drop him off. He still cries so hard he turns purple most weeks when I take him to his class at church- which we go to every sunday and hes been in the same class for a year. He is going to lose it and I feel so bad. It's not that he is just naughty and doesnt want to go. He is literally terrified and you can see the sheer panic gloss over his eyes. I can feel his brain ticking a million miles a minute- he starts to sweat and his heart races. Then the begging to stay with him and hold him while is clammy palms grip my shirt in desperation. I hate it when my kids feel anything negative, they have a whole lifetime of that, lets not have it when they are 3. Ugh that will be hard. But there will be more good than bad, I have to remind myself of this.

In other news- I feel the urge to go school clothes shopping. Have you looked at Gap lately?! 

abc's and home school

I have talked about our decision to homeschool a little before and as talk of preschool starts popping up with his peers and Ryan inching closer and closer to the kindergarten age I have thought about it a lot lately. In this house learning and "school" isnt something that will start one chilly day in September when he is 5. It is a lifestyle. It is and will be something that is just part of our every day. We are already on our way.

One of our favorite activities is playing with the Banana Gram tiles. He knows all the letters pictured above!

day 5

Something you hope to DO in your life

I hope to do so many things the list is endless. There is a list of 100 things though right here

But one thing I really hope to do is home school my children. My mom home schooled us for a few years when I was in high school and I can totally see the benefits. The first reaction I get to this is

 "WHAT are you crazy?"
my answer: No I am not crazy, I am very sane thank you. I dont think wanting to spend time with your kids and teach them about life is a crazy thing at all.

"You know they will be weird and have no friends"
me: Honestly, bring on the weirdness! If it means that they wont be exposed to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, foul language, bullying, and other possible harm I dont care how weird they are. I will love them anyway. I want to know the people they spend time with and know the parents of the people they spend time with. I'd rather them not be friends with the mean, bullying kids that arent raised with the same values and then have to struggle with whats right and wrong. We all have to deal with that enough as adults.
AND they will have tons and tons of friends, which brings me to my next statement.

"So what you just sit at home all day and never get out into the real world"
me: No way Jose! we will go to the zoo, museums, science center, cultural centers and so on. We will belong to a co-op. They will be in piano lessons, band, choir, soccer, gymnastics, wrestling, and every other extra curricular activity their little hearts desire. They will be able to do all those things because they wont be in school for 8 hours then have another 8 hours of homework every night like I see happen far too often now.

I look forward to teaching my kids in a way that works for them, not a 30 to 1 ratio where if you're slow you get left behind. I dont want to worry if this is the day that a 10 yr old brings a gun to school and shoots my son. I dont want to worry if the only kids at school who befriend them are the kids that I dont want them anywhere near. I want to make sure they are getting everything out of their education that they can. I want to watch them thrive and seize the world for all the good that is out there.
It will be a huge undertaking and it makes me nervous but I have some incredible women to look up to and hopefully the support and understanding of my friends.
If I raised my children 10 years ago I probably wouldnt be choosing this route but times have changed and I am not a big fan of the way things are going.