me and angie jo

 

Linking up this week to Mama Kat  for this week's writing prompts! I havent done this in a while but this one was just too good. Go tell Kat we said hello and show her some love, pick a prompt too!

10 reasons why I could never be friends with.....

Dont get me wrong I am completely in love with Angelina Jolie but if we were besties we would have some issues-

Coveting. She would probably always be coveting my hot husband, wishing she was with him instead of her Brad. Well then again we could just switch if it would make her happy. I could  make that sacrifice for her. Maybe.

2 things. The twins, the ones that go in a bra. Helloooo.

I would always compare my little thin lips to her big, luscious, perfectly formed, heavenly to kiss lips. I would always talk about how I have less lip to spill food on and therefore saving the planet one napkin at a time. I would talk about saving so much money on chap stick or lip gloss. Which might not make her jealous because she has enough money to go around- but it would make her think twice.

I would be a bad friend because when we would go to the tattoo parlor to get her some new ink instead of being there to hold her hand and crack jokes about a miss spelled word with the tattoo artist I would be sitting in the back turning green, trying not to pass out.

She would wish she was short like me instead of a tall, legs to the ceiling, amazon model,  like her. It would create bad feelings between the two of us.

We would both covet each others lives as mothers. Me with my one child, her with 6. She would wish she had less diapers to change, less luggage when she traveled, and of course more time on her hands. I would wish that I could raise 6 precious babes and love each one of their snotty noses, and stinky butts.

Then again I would have 6 kids under 7 and I might have to take up a bad habit with a liquor bottle to cope with that kind of chaos.

Travel. She would always invite me on her wild and wonderful world excursions but I would have to decline. I dont have a current passport.

I would always talk about how wonderful it is to clean my own house, make my own meals, and do my own laundry. I would say how rewarding it is, how it makes me feel accomplished, and burns lots of calories. She would then feel lazy and useless because she hires out. She would grow in resentment of my lifestyle and we would have some big falling out.

When we planned our kids birthday parties together we would never be able to agree on anything. I would get lucky and have small affairs with a few friends and family. Less mouths to feed, no pressure to have a circus tent and the Jonas Brothers perform. She would be so stressed trying to make sure that the cake was brought in via helicopter, and that Jen Aniston stayed the heck away- that she would have no time to relax like I could. She would be angry at me for my easy going approach that would never work for the paparazzi.

I will rock the car pool with my Toyota Sienna, packed with extra goldfish, spare basketballs and soccer cleats spilling out the doors, and last weeks chocolate milk spilled in the back seat. She would never get to belt out the latest Taylor Swift melody, change a diaper in the trunk, or try to teach a 15 year old how to navigate through orange cones while yelling at the other ones to put on the dvd headphones and shut up. I dont think her driver or private jet pilot know all the verses to wheels on the bus. She would know by watching me juggle car seats, grocery bags and 4 days worth of mail that she is missing out on something magical. It would cause a cat fight in the drive way.

See Angelina, as cool and friggin' hot as you are it just wouldnt work with us. I know you are dying to be my friend but we have too many things that would come between us. I still love you though, forever and ever  no matter what.

a letter

Dear tag blanket,

Mommy and daddy introduced us when I was just a newborn baby and you were my favorite thing right away. When I was an itty bitty I cried a LOT at least thats what mommy tells me and you always made me feel better. We cuddled every night in bed and one night I found out that you have a tag on you that is so perfect for sucking/chewing on. From that moment on we were inseparable. I love you oh so much to the moon and back. I always love you the mostest but sometimes I even love you more than anyone aka my mommy and daddy ;) thank you for always making me feel so happy when I am sad or lonely, thank you for always being so soft and smelling perfect even though mommy says you stink like bad morning breath. I am so glad that I have 3 of you so that you are always near by when I need you, and dont worry I love you all the same :) I am so happy when I see your tag and I get to chew on it, hopefully it wont fall off cause that would be the saddest day ever. I will probably carry you around the house til I am 12 and secretly sleep with you in my bed even after I am married and have my own babies. I hope I love my kids enough to share you with them ;) I hope we can always be bestest friends forever and ever.

Love,
Ryan

writers workshop- that big L I want so bad

This is inspired by Mama Kat's weekly writers workshop. I havent been the best about linking up every Thursday but this weeks was just to good to pass up. So I will only half-watch Pawn Stars with my husband while we half-cuddle. Wait he is sitting on the floor fixing my phone and I am sprawled out on the couch "working." Typical night let me tell ya.

That ended up being a pretty good opener to.....

A list of things I no longer have in common with my single/childless friends and reasons I still love them.

When you are single and you buy a cute monogram letter you can get one that is for your FIRST name. Could you imagine if I had this on my wall?

its nearly 3 feet tall

See it just wouldnt work. People would walk in and say.. "an L?" even though they clearly know my name is LAUREN. So we stick to A's :)     this is reminding me of a time when I wanted to buy a little monogram H for a necklace and my gf couldnt figure out why, my maiden name is Hughes.

Cuddling in the summer does not happen. Why in the heck would you do that? Its hot and sweaty and sticky. Ewwy. Sorry to my single ladies, that your ears are burning after this, but yeah sometimes its OKAY not to cuddle with your man.

I can not attend lunch dates or shopping trips on the fly. Unless you want my circus to tag along and even then it will take 20 min to tackle sippy cups, snacks, toys, diapers, make sure he actually has 2 socks and 2 shoes on (the correct feet help too). 

I get tired at 8pm. As a matter of fact I can not multi task after 8:15. So when you are typing on fb to me about your love affairs and crazy escapades and I happen to be doing anything else at the same time sorry I am not a good listener. 

Therefore it amazes me how you can stay up SO late, partying like a rockstar then still be at work functioning the next morning. If I have a rough night Ryan plays on the floor, eats gold fish for breakfast, and watches gabba while I doze on the couch til he hits me in the face with something.

Buy for me or buy for my son...... buy for my son, every dang time. 'Nuff said.

Flirting... whats that again? You get hit on in the store and are expecting it and pleased with the outcome of your aisle 6 stop. I get hit on in the store and just laugh. "sure buddy if only you KNEW what was waiting for me when I got home and what THIS hot bod went through last year you would not be raising your eye brows at me" 

However ladies I still love you. I love you because you make me feel wild and free if only for a moment, you remind me that there is life beyond the huggies/pampers argument. You keep me up to date on fashion and tell me when I look like a slob in a very loving way. You are always full of energy cause you sleep in quietness at night. When I am too worn out you take my son on walks around the neighborhood and play knock knock whos at the door. You love me even though I scare the crap out of you with all my talk of c section scars and breastfeeding. You remind me that even though your life is sometimes intriguing that I love the home and the family that I have created and wouldnt trade it for the world.

Dear Becca,

Pretty much you are my only single/childless friend that I hang out with on a regular basis so this is mostly about you, you are the key in my lime pie, the peanut butter to my jelly.. ok I cant think of any more its after 8. I hope you still love me cause I love you. Thank you for keeping me sane. 

Love 

Lu

100 baby

I thought this day would never come. I started my blog nearly 2 years ago after I found out I was pregnant with monkey and here we are.... 100 posts later! In honor of my sweet little blog's 100th birthday here are 100 things that I want to do/see/feel/accomplish in my life. A bucket list you could say. In no particular order...

1. Have lots and lots of babies
2. grow old with my hubby
3. see all my children grow up and get married in the temple
4. send all my sons and maybe daughters on church missions
5. have lots and lots of grand babies 
6. own a big house with rooms for all of my stuff- crafts, toys, home office, guest rooms
7. the house will have a front porch
8. and a pool
9. 2 words.... range rover
10. meet the living prophet of our church
11. travel to mexico
12. back pack through Brasil, where the hubs went on his mission
13. Europe
14. Tahiti
15. Go on a cruise
16. visit as many temples as I can
17. now i need an updated passport
18. own a timeshare or a vacation house
19. horse ride on the beach, at sunset
20. meet the president
21. be a part of the PTA
22. be a better missionary
23. coach gymnastics forever
24. help all my sons become eagle scouts
25. read every book.. ever written.. ok maybe not all of them
26. learn Spanish
27. hang out with the old lady sun birds in Arizona and write about them and their crazy antics 
28. watch a sunrise on the hood of a car with my hubs
29. oh that reminds me.. own a '69 mustang. red.
30. see the 7 wonders of the world
31. drive across route 66
32. take ball room dance classes with the hubs
33. take ballet again
34. interpret sign language
35. graduate college 
36. ride in a hot air balloon
37. see cirque du soleil 
38. go on a church mission with the hubs when we are old
39. watch meteor shower
40. live in the south. not sure what state I just want the southern experience
41. take cooking classes
42. have publishers clearing house give me lots of money for no reason
43. go to a blog conference
44. win a blogging award
45. own the table of my dreams from pottery barn
46. get false eyelashes
47. thinking of my dream job.. it would be getting paid to blog
48. so maybe get a book published
49. take photography classes
50. then make money doing it
51. and shoot for NILMDTS
52. have a HUGE photo wall in my house full of my family and other loved ones
53. meet Kenny Chesney and any other country stars
54. retire young and cuddle on our front porch swing
55. go on an African safari
56. sky dive
57. have a garden- a real one, in the ground 
58. learn how to make awesome sushi
59. play a new sport
60. have a Heritage Makers office/show room 
61. design a clothing line for little boys
62. OR have a boutique catered to BOY stuff cause no one has that yet
63. win a shopping spree at Anthro
64. and take a personal shopper with me to tell me what to buy
65. make fabric flowers for bows and head bands
66. use my sewing machine more. learn how to be a great seamstress
67. have a 6 pack.. abs that is
68. wear red lipstick all day
69. make all the crafts on brown paper packages
70. take singing lessons
71. meet all my online momma blogging friends
72. get a mani/pedi every other week for the rest of my life
73. name a daughter JANE (hahahahaha brad. eventually I WILL win)
74. learn how to decorate cakes 
75. donate my hair to locks of love
76. run a marathon (how did I get this far without remembering that one?!)
77. run relay for life, or another cancer walk
78. donate blood (yeah i have never done that)
79. donate a kidney, like my husband did!
80. get over my fear of BIRDS, ahhhh the shock I know
81. learn how to play guitar 
82. record some of the music I have written
83. then make my own lullaby CD
84. have my own reality TV show. you know it would be awesome
85. raise a lot of money for cancer research
86. host a foreign exchange student 
87. save a life
88. have an all natural water birth
89. well I would have to have a VBAC first
90. attend a family reunion with EVERYONE
91. go on more date nights
92. laser hair removal :)
93. own a wake boarding boat
94. sail in boat around the Caribbean
95. scuba dive
96. go hunting
97. sit down with my nanny and popa (grandparents) and write their life story
98. adopt a child or 2,3,4... like I said I want LOTS of babies
99. have a salt water fish tank
100. live to be 100. I want to see an entire century of this world go by.

Thanks to everyone who reads my stuff,  and for all my friends and family who give me things to talk about, you make me so happy. I love you all! Here's to another 100!

this is subject to change, I have already swapped some out a few times! 

Weekly Writing Prompt

Brought to you by MamaKat
This week-

This one time I was sleeping and.......

Then next thing I know I was no longer in my warm, perfect bed with my comfy wrestling quilt, the one my MIL made for my husband so he can always remember how much he ruled the mat. It wasnt the sound of monkey's lullaby coming through our thin apartment walls or the glow of street lights sneaking through the slits in the window blinds.

I was in the heart of Nicaragua. Part thick lush rain forrest, part war torn, drug lord capital. At least thats what it seemed to me when I was dropped down in the middle of the street. I could run and disappear into the solid green forest to my right right but I was stronger than that. I knew I had a mission to complete. I was in a suit, with heals of course. The ones that mean business, that I was here to kick some serious booty. I felt the weight on the side of my slacks from my government issued firearm and badge. Then they saw me, a band of large, gold chain wearing thugs... My heart stopped for a second then sped up again beating three times the normal pace.

Then I was on the mat, watching my awesome gymnasts perfect routines that I had been hoping for all season. Each move flowed from the next, like angels. But something was wrong. I was so irritated. But they were so great. I dont know if it was the bright florescent lights or the smell of bar chalk and sweaty feet in the air. I look down. I have no pants on. I can feel my face turn the color of Christmas red and my hands get so sweaty it could have masked the smell of the fore-mentioned feet.

Oh good, I am at dinner now. With my loving, handsome husband. I have a wicked sweet dress on I have never seen before, I hope he doesnt realize its new and way out of our price range. (somehow I knew those things, whatever)  But it doesnt matter. Tonight I feel hot. There is no diaper bag under the table and I do not smell of baby poop and butt wipes. Then another woman walks across the room and I feel the hubs eyes follow her. She is getting closer. Finally she comes and sits down at OUR table. "babe there is something I need to tell you" gasping for air I know what is coming. All the late hours at work. All the times his phone rings and he disappears into the other room and speaks in whispers. She is not as pretty as me so I dont quite understand. But I brace myself, griping the table leg.   "I have been keeping something for you from a while now and I think now its the perfect time to tell you.."  my blood is boiling now, how dare he.

 "this is our new housekeeper, she is going to come a few days a week and help you out, ya know do the dishes and stuff cause I know how much you hate that. happy anniversary! I love you!"

Then I am flying, I dont know why.. but it feels so good. Lets stay here forever.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaaaaaaaa mom mom mom mom" My eyes peek open, its 9:12am. And I am still so tired. My back aches and my neck is sore. I am super groggy still. (yes my son sleeps in really late, dont hate) No wonder, I was really busy last night, again. I get up trying to brush it all off and move on with my day.

Yes I am a bit of a crazy sleeper. Hence my diet coke addiction. I promise you all of these dreams are real. They did not all occure on the same night but if I dream this is usually how it goes. One circus freak of a mess to the next. Try not to look at me like a weirdo from now on. 

Going back

Taking the writing challenge with Mama Kat this week!

10 things I would love to go back and do differently-

• taken school more seriously and go on to graduate college. I would have made one sweet Ped's nurse!
• payed attention in photography class when my parents bought me a spendy canon rebel 35mm. The teacher was great I could have learned a LOT
• ran more. I hate running but I love the way runners have n.ice butts and legs. I think If I ran more I would build up a tolerance to the hatred. I feel its too late for me now.
• I would not have been so darn awkward in grade school and junior high. High school was better I was home schooled! Its embarrassing to look back, I like to pretend those years did not happen to me. I am much cooler these days trust me ;)
• better at long distance friendships. there are some great people I have just lost contact with it makes me sad
• pushed myself harder in gymnastics. I had a horrid fear of the balance beam that totally held me back. I was also a bit lazy in the beginning, not so good. I love coaching now however that is the best job ever
• saved more money!!!!!
• wrote that final paper for D.A.R.E. in 6th grade. I didnt and then wasnt aloud to "graduate" the program. my mom found out and it messed up her whole day. I was grounded the entire summer. It sucked
• dated classier dudes. It all worked out fine in the end I have an awesome hubs but the road getting here was a train wreck of "awesomeness" 
• that reminds me, I wish I had a not given my heart away so many times and kept all my secrets to myself. Mom was right. 

That was relieving. I thought that the list was going to go on forever but I had a hard time thinking of many regrets. I guess I have lived a pretty good life! I am feeling very lucky/blessed right now. 

Go ahead link up, visit Mama Kat :)