growing up is hard | a letter to Ryan

 first day of sunbeams at church

My dear monkey man,

I have had this letter to you in my head, it plays itself over and over the past year. I hope I can put into understandable words the things I am thinking.

You are going to be four years old this year, in about 4 months actually. And its hard for you. While there are some things about growing up that you like- getting to watch power rangers and walk in the parking lot, there a lot of things you don't like at all.

A lot of times you tell me you are still two, and too little to do the thing requested of you. You still want to sit in a high chair and use a sippy cup, you havent given up diapers completely, you'd rather be carried around, need to be cuddled to sleep every night, and insist on having help with pretty much everything (going potty, getting dressed, feeding yourself) if I let you, you would still sit in a bumbo and chill in a baby swing and/or jumperoo. yes you still fit in all of those.

I know you are able and are really good at all of those things. I know it is because you fear growing up and getting older. When you were a baby you had mommy to help you with everything and be with you for practically every moment of your life. Now that you are older, and you have a little brother I am no hands on as much. I request that you go get your own shoes from the basket in the hall and to sit at the table and eat a sandwich whole instead of cut into little bites because I am busy with a baby. I am sorry that I can't still do everything for you and that sometimes you feel left out.

But my son, let me tell you something. Growing up is incredible and you will love it. Now that you are bigger we can do so many fun things together. We paint, make forts, stay up late for movie and pop corn, have tickle fights, have lunch dates, and so much more. One of my favorite things we do together is just talk. I love laying in your bed with you and talking about life. We talk about everything from your favorite toy of the moment to what you want to be when you grow up (toy swords, and a scuba diver!) I feel like I really know you so well, and not just because I am your mom but because I have spent so many hours getting inside your head trying to understand you and the personality you were blessed to be born with.

Each year you will have more and more exciting things to look forward too! You will get to play sports, learn an instrument of your choosing, get to be in cub scouts and boy scouts, date, drive a car............ I can go on forever! While life is hard and growing up certainly has its rough spots- that is one I am still learning, life is something to be celebrated and enjoyed. I want to show you that there is something great in each phase of your life and fabulous things you can do.

Just like the baby stage was awesome, and the toddler stage was cool... this big kid stuff? It rocks, trust me and you're going to be GREAT at it.

Love,
mama