leaving my baby

If you have been reading for a while you know that I have my parenting up's and down's just like everyone else. Ryan and I go through phases where we are the best of buddies and then sometimes we go through rough patches where we want nothing to do with each other and want to run the other way screaming. Literally. I keep telling myself this is totally normal and not to feel like a failure. Yes. This is totally okay for me to go through these phases... right?

At this particular phase of life it is the BEST of times. Sure he is still Ryan, he is still clingy, he is still whinny, he's still two. But we are loving the groove of our days. We love watching elmo as we eat breakfast together and getting ready together in the morning. He is a whiz with the hair dryer. We love running errands together and holding hands across the parking lot. He is awesome at looking both ways for cars before we cross and saying noooooooooo vroom mama, GO! Lunch and naps rock. We are perfect at cuddling for naps in my bed every afternoon. We cook dinner together and play silly games during bath time.

Dont get me wrong its a LOT of time together. I cant honestly say that doing the same things a year ago wouldnt have driven me up a wall but something in me has changed. I love my time with monkey, I look forward to the mornings when he runs in my room and kisses me good morning. I cherish nap time everyday because I get to roll over and see the sweet little suckle his mouth makes as he is falling asleep. I love that he asks to "hup me" make dinner.

Things are about to change for us and our relationship will have to make some adjustments but for now I am soaking up every moment I have with just my little man, he really is my best friend. I am going to miss him so much when we go on vacation next week.I know that my parents will take amazing care of him and he will love being there but there is a part of me that will wonder if he is asking for me, if he is wondering why mama is coming to get him after the first few days. I am already looking forward to our reuniting hug at the end of our trip.