OK I need some help from my mommy friends out there.. I have such a hard time letting Ryan cry it out! I totally believe in the Ferber method and everything in Babywise but I am such a whimp at it. I want to give my child the gift of being able to put himself to sleep but I just cant do it! We have a set bedtime routine- bath, massage, read a book, nurse, and cuddle. Then I put him down drowsy so he can drift peacefully to sleep. hahahahaha yeah right. He will just scream and scream without stopping. Then when I finally cave and go check on him hes dripping with sweat and has this horrible rash all around his eyes. So I will pat his belly and try to make him stop crying, this lasts a few minutes til hes back at it again. An hour of this will go by and then I just quit and rock him to a dead sleep. Its so hard on Brad, Ryan and me and I just dont know what to do. He WONT cry himself to sleep, hes gone on for an hour and a half before, he just gets so worked up he cant sleep. I NEED HELP!
5 comments:
Hi Lauren- Most doctors and baby experts agree that babies aren't capable of "self soothing" until six months. So once your little guy gets worked up and starts crying, he isn't able to calm himself down or fall asleep. I know its hard to have to rock a baby to sleep (or nurse or whatever helps them), but until they are emotionally developed enough, there isn't much you can do when they start crying, except calm them back down yourself. Its hard, but eventually he'll be old enough that you'll be able to let him "cry it out" safely. Good luck!
I think it actually depends on the doctor and baby expert (in response to the above comment) AND the baby. Sammie started when she was 2 months old, and the first week was rough, but after that, it was great, and has been since. She goes down for naps and bedtime without much fuss (anywhere from none to 30 seconds or so). My sister's baby has had a harder time though, and I think the mistake they make is they allow him to become TOO upset- beyond being capable of crying himself to sleep. It's hard to tell when that point comes, until it's gone though. It's a tough one, I don't know what advice to give about Ryan, I know for us, we were just super strict following the book at first (Jacob would literally have to hold me back and distract me because I'd cry) and it worked for us, and life is soooo much easier because of it. I think since he is having such a hard time you should just talk to your doctor about it, they might have some helpful advice. Sorry I couldn't be more help! Oh, and I definitely got your link off of your facebook post today, I swear I'm not hunting you down or anything :)
Oh yeah and I forgot to add- around 4 months we gave her a comfort object, which helped sooooo much (though it took a few weeks until it was a comfort to her).
My girls were both great sleepers, slept through the night by 6 weeks.... but I rocked them to sleep. I don't remember exactly when I quit, I loved that time with them! I eventually got to the point where I knew it'd be hard to always have to rock them to sleep. I probably stopped between 3-6 months, and started laying them in bed awake. It worked. You do what is best for you and your family. If it were me, I'd just continue rocking him to sleep now and try again in another month or so. Every baby is different so it's hard to tell. Good luck, you're a great mommy! :)
I read a book by Richard and Linda Eyre and it was really awesome. It isn't a book on how to raise your baby but it put things in perspective for me. I don't agree with babywise because like the person said above every baby is different. In this book Richard says that one night when his baby wouldn't stop crying he held him and looked down at him and thought, "what would I want in this situation?" Maybe he wants to be rocked and held, maybe he doesn't feel good, or maybe he does just want to cry it out. I would listen to your feelings and do what you think is best. Because babywise just assumes that every baby is the same and I don't agree with that. My sister in law made me read babywise and it didn't feel right. I am just on the other side of it and I know it is hard but they won't stay babies forever so enjoy them and don't be to hard on yourself if you rock him. Anyway it is good to find you and I miss you and I am not trying to tell you what to do. Just my feelings.
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