Wednesday, October 20, 2010

30 days of truth day 1

I have been needing to break through of all the pain and stress of these last 2 months. I am having a hard time seeing the good, or finding joy.. in anything. 
I should break out the camera as that always seems to lighten my mood but its been off with its real owner traveling around the Caribbean islands. I had the hubs go steal it back from his parents this afternoon :) I really need to get my own.
I have a few friends participating in Courtney Kirkland's 30 days of truth. For example here, here, and here. When I first saw this I thought no freaking way.. Then I had an awful flash of my post, begging for us to get real. So here goes nothing- I am starting to feel good about this already.

DAY 1 {something you hate about yourself}

Oh really, lets start off here. There are so many ways this could go how about I just make a list. 

  • I hate my boobs, they are sunken in and saggy. I used to love them, they were a nice B cup- and perky. Hubs liked them too, ok he says he still does but I swear hes just being nice. I am only 23 yet I feel the strong desire to go under the knife and get them fixed. I WILL after I am done nursing all our babes. 
  • I hate that my skin still breaks out. I currently have nasty acne covering my entire back. Its such a weird place to break out and I dont even want to look in the mirror naked. Thank goodness its not summer and I have to deal with putting on a bathing suit
  • I hate that I am naggy, I have an incredible husband and yet he drives me insane. This morning I yelled at him for not cleaning the house the right way.... He was cleaning the house, with Ryan, on his day off. I should have kept my mouth shut.
  • I hate that I am forgetful and spacey. Its super embarrassing when I mess up other peoples day because I forgot something.
  • I hate that sometimes I want to put Ryan in his crib and let him scream- to teach him a lesson. All he wants is for me to hold him, why is that such a bad thing. And why does it bug me at times. 
  • I hate that I have so many regrets. Not living the way I was raised for so long, For not listening to my parents, for dating lame dudes, for ignoring my own intuition/revelations.
  • I hate that I could go on for another hour. I am ready for tomorrows post!
If you are in a slump like I am, do this! If you arent in the mood to air it out online put it in your private journal, it feels good.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself. 
Day 2: Something you love about yourself. 
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for. 
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for. 
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. 
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. 
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on. 
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on. 
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.) 
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter) 
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. 
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without. 
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. 
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage. 
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? 
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? 
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today. 
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? 
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.


Miss Mouse and Me said...

don't worry, i hate my "new" boobs too. and this morning at 530 when graycie would not go back to sleep, even though she was exhausted, i made her cry in her bed. i felt bad but i needed her to be so tired that she couldn't fight it anymore.
i am excited to read the rest of your time to go do it myself!

Daren and Andrea said...

Great idea!! I'm totally going to do this.
Miss you hot mama!!

Mandy said...

So glad you're joining in!!! Feels good to be so open and candid sometimes!! Look forward to reading more of your truths! :-)

Shawntae said...

hmmm should I do this? I think soo! I hate my boobs now too. Sheesh mine were so big and perky now they are so nasty! Sick. I also breakout too. Not on my back but my face. Ya I think i'd rather have it on my back.

Love you girl! I hope you are feeling better. I wish I lived in Oregon so I could come help you and feed you soupppppp

Anonymous said...

Oh sweety, I think most moms would have those same things that we hate. Every mom wants to put their kid in a crib and let them scream. Boobs, oh please, don't get me started! You are totally normal.
And brave for putting it all out there!! Way to go for day 1.
Love this challenge. I hope you embrace day number two and have a whole list for what you love!

Polished Portrayal said...

1. Men love boobs, whether they look like melons or fried eggs. Thank goodness for this. Especially when they love the woman they're attached too.

2. Picking pimples is all kinds of satisfying.

3. Nagging gets things done. It means you have to do less. Thumbs up here.

4. Being forgetful leaves the space in your brain for creativity. I don't think Picasso was super organized, and I'm pretty sure that ACDC isn't either.

5. Crying never hurt anyone. In fact, don't most people feel BETTER after they've had a good cry?

6. If you hadn't had all of the experiences that you regret, you wouldn't have ended up where you are. You wouldn't have the family that makes you me and mine. Life is a lesson, you've just been learning a lot more than you had wished. You may be thankful for this one day.

7. Write on, woman. And chin up. Hugs.

Stef said...

What a great idea. I am gonna do this on my other blog... "Write me a Meme"

staceysmotheringmoments said...

Ahhh. Your post makes me want to give you a hug! I'm glad that tomorrow's post is things you love about yourself! And I hate my boobs too. And I still break out and I'm like ten years older than you. Some things just suck! And sometimes it's OK to let the baby cry if you need a break. Just make sure you take a breather so you can go back in and give him all the lovin' he needs. Being a mom is SO hard!! *Hugs*
P.S. Found you on SITS!

melissa d. said...

i totally hate my boobs too-mainly, that thanks to currently nursing they are almost two totally diff sizes. boo.

i hope that goes away when i am done. and i will def. go under the knife for that too :)

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