earth day

photo by yours truly. please pin. 

we celebrated by playing outside. 

living with purpose

Wow, never in my blogging life have I had a lull like the last... oh, 5 months or so. I just kept saying that I had writers block or didn't know what to write about, or even just checking in saying "we are still alive, here is a picture." 

Hard truth is, there were things I couldn't really talk about, and I knew if I sat down at the keyboard that it would be a huge fight with myself to not just write my brains out. I wanted to scream from the roof tops what I was going through because somehow that helps. Maybe its that the weight of it isn't on my shoulders anymore and out there in the open, or its the validation I receive. No Lauren, you aren't crazy and yes your feelings matter... I don't know. So instead of writing about light hearted, happy things I just stopped all together. 

And because I know you are wondering... it's marriage and its impossibly difficult.

But I messed up. I shouldn't have stopped. I should have kept writing. I was missing moments in my kids lives, I wasn't capturing their growth and their deepening bond for one another. While I was sitting over here in my corner licking my proverbial wounds they were out there living life and blossoming. I know that sounds weird- that I was missing moments. But let me tell you something about myself. When I blog regularly and keep my camera close I am a better person. It makes me live intentionally. Moments aren't staged so I can photograph and write about them, everything happens naturally... but I am forced to notice them. To stop and take in the scene and appreciate the little moments and the beauty that is this life. 

"One of my favorite things about photography: that moment of "church" at my desk when I'm editing photos-- given the chance to stare at a moment for much longer than it actually lasted. Noticing things that might have been ignored. seeing the people and things I love with a different perspective. The art of picture-taking has truly made me a more observant, grateful, life-loving human. Amen."  

- Kelle Hampton

So I was just living hour by hour, waiting for the next nap or bed time. I wasn't taking it in, I wasn't letting my kids mold me and change me. I was just stuck, frozen in my frustration and pain. I couldn't see past it. Before you get worried, I still took care of them. They were fed, bathed, cuddled, driven to activities, and played with. But I was an empty shell. My body went through the motions, my face smiled and my eyes lit up for them all while I was crying inside. It was exhausting keeping up with both sides. The inside and the out.I guess I am sitting here and nothing has noticeably changed but in my heart I am striving too.

In February and March I took maybe 5 photos combined with my big camera. I did use IG a lot but its not the same. I don't get fired up by the weight in my hands and the rolling of the shutter speed. This last week I photographed our day and while I am pretty rusty at photographing my own kids at home it was a healing experience. Like Kelle said, I had my church moment editing those photos.

My kids area beautiful, smart, full of love and life. They are incredible. I can easily tell when I am photographing them because I am in the moment, with purpose. I plan have more of these unbridled moments with them so be prepared for the photo overload that is coming your way.

And now for the things I have missed. Weston will be 16 months old in April. He is running, climbing, starting to sign back to us, and is obsessed with his brother/best friend. While he is still mild mannered most times he is showing us what youngest siblings are all about. He wants to be heard and have his feelings validated and if you don't.. if he thinks he is being pushed aside for any reason, boy will let you know. I find his overly dramatic tantrums laying face down on the floor sweet and welcome the excuse to validate his feelings and have a quick cuddle on the couch.

Ryan is a welcomed breath of fresh air. He is thriving in so many ways. He is back in school, he is learning to read, he is finally getting the fun of  "imaginative play" and wants to be he-man/power ranger/spider man at all times. He has even changed his name to Antonio (the gold power ranger) He makes me laugh and is sensitive to my needs and suggests we cuddle and take a nap every now and then. He keeps me on my toes, reminding me that stupid and hate are not nice words and lets me know what I should use instead. He prays with intent. He realizes his role as a big brother- a teacher, a friend, an ally, a companion, and an example. He will soon be celebrating his fourth birthday and is requesting a night at the Olive Garden with his grandparents instead of a big party. We are fine by that.

They are best friends. I knew they would be. While they have stubborn spats they love each other deeply and flow together well. Their personalities balance wonderfully and they are better off together than apart. While Ryan looks forward to sleep overs at Grandma's house they are both very pleased when its over and they are together again. I can't imagine one with out the other. Even 2.5 years apart, they are a packaged pair.

just pictures

I just love them so much.

a year in photos.

Here ya go.. a photo a week of the first year of Weston's life! I started out with big plans to do a blog photo a week but that only lasted 11 and then I stopped posting. That didnt mean I didn't stop taking them. I am SO proud of myself this year! LOTS of photos, only one of these was from my phone too :) I can't wait to get this printed. I love how he is the same, yet he has changed SO much at the same time.

working photographer?

Woah, I am a professional photographer. I work daily, I make money, I provide for my family. This is actually happening. I can't believe it.

But then again I can. I have worked my tush off the past few years and really hit it hard since May when I got my business license. Its a full time job and is so rewarding. I love being pushed and stretched in my craft.

I am still not where I want to be, but I think I will feel that way in 50 years. Its always evolving and changing. My dream is constantly being redefined.

Here are some of my favorites.

if you are in the portland or seattle areas and would like to work together find me here-

www.lulabellphotography.com

facebook.com/lulabellphotography  I'd love the like ;)

instagram @lulabellphoto

lauren@lulabellphotography.com

outtakes

Proof that I may have great pictures of my kids, but sometimes it is a lot of work, and a lot of shots to get there...

and then this one :)

just because

Just enjoying some time with the eldest one afternoon last week. Shot these with my brand new Canon 7D and favorite 50mm 1.4 lens. 

like father, like son.

You know the saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Okay, well in this house, with my husband and Ryan, the apple fell from the tree, rolled back to the roots and made a nice little home there forever.

I took hub's picture in April, and Ryan's picture today. Both of them were a surprised, unprompted moment. Totally raw- at their core.

I think it's just them fed up with me and my camera but it speaks volumes about their personalities.

Do your children closely resemble you or dad? Or are they all their own?

its monday

Ironic since yesterday's post was titled Sunday.

I have been in a writing rut lately. I want to sit down and pour my heart out to my boys but I have been so busy living in the moment.

I have also been working up a storm. My photography business is steady and busy. I am loving every moment of it and so grateful for all of the support and the great clientele I have. I was clearing off my memory cards last night and decided to double check the images before. I found these, that after a second glance I decided was worth the keep. What do you think?

I love his baby rolls.

randomness

comparing Ryan and Weston both at 4 months. not as different as I thought.

things going on in this house-

my BABY posted up to his hands and knees tonight in his crib. oh my gosh someone make it stop. i want my infant back. 

every time Weston cries Ryan goes over to tell him "I know.." over and over in a super sweet voice. Like mommy, like son!

My baby that poops once a week has pooped 6 times today. Enough is enough kid! 

We are still cloth diapering and LOVING it. To see our why and how click here 

They have been getting up SO early. Like sometimes before 7. Which for Mandy would be sleeping in but I am used to it being at least 8. I need more sleep than I am getting for sure. 

Weston is blowing raspberries like crazy I need to keep a bib on him because there is SO much drool everywhere. 

I love my boys so much but this mom of 2 thing is hard work. I know we will have more kids but the thought of it just makes me so nervous right now. 

I am feeling REALLY excited and happy about how things are going with my photography business. I am getting busy and every day I count my blessings and pray things continue to get better and better. I have met some great people and have learned SO much about business, my camera, working with people. All of it has made me a better/happier person. I love it! Go check us out and give me a like on facebook! 

senior rep program

If we are good friends then there is no doubt that you have seen this floating around all of my social networking sites. In good measure lets just cover this one too!

Lulabell Photography is getting ready for 2013 seniors in Vancouver Wa! Are you a fun, energetic, outgoing senior interested in becoming a representative for Lulabell Photography senior sessions? I am looking for juniors who will be graduating in 2013 to promote my business to their friends and classmates. I will be collecting applications until April 1st 2012 from anyone wanting to be considered for one of my 4 rep positions. I will choose 2 girls and 2 guys from our local area on April 6th. The winners will be announced on the blog and facebook.

Want to receive your senior portrait session for FREE?

Would you like professional pictures for your facebook/twitter/myspace profiles? 

Interested in getting free prints, photo albums, and canvases?

Do you like prizes?

Then come apply to be a 2013 senior rep for Lulabell Photography. If you are currently a high school junior or know a high school junior who might like to be a senior rep, here’s what you need to know:


If accepted, you will be representing Lulabell Photography and telling your friends about the senior sessions throughout your senior year. All you have to do is tell them how much fun you had and hand them one of your custom referral cards! Easy right? You must be willing to represent and promote ONLY Lulabell Photography. Be sure to let your Junior friends know also, so they will have a chance to apply for the 2014 program! For every friend you refer us to, you will receive special discounts and prizes. 


In order to be a senior rep, you must:
Have great style, lots of personality and enjoy being in front of the camera.
Be a current high school junior graduating in 2013.
Live in and attend school in the Vancouver WA area
Be available to have one session completed before May 5, 2012.
Agree to tell your friends and classmates about Lulabell Photography and share your senior portraits with them.
Have your parents or legal guardians sign a model release form.
Agree to represent Lulabell Photography and use these images as your senior pictures.


As part of the senior rep program you will receive the following:
Your senior portrait session for FREE with unlimited wardrobe changes and multiple locations (at photographers discretion (a $200 value)
Discounted disc of your images and print release (retails for $100)
50 personalized referral cards with your name, photos, and my contact information to pass out to your friends and classmates. 
Several of your favorite images to share on your facebook/twitter/blog/myspace accounts (with the Lulabell watermark) 


For each person you refer you will receive discounts and/or prizes provided by Lulabell Photography. They must supply me with the referral card and and in doing so they will also get 10% off their session fee. You can also refer anyone looking for family sessions, newborn, maternity, or portraits too! They will count toward your referral total and will also receive the 10%. Once a referral session is booked and paid for, your credit will be applied. 


Okay now for the prizes!


1-5 referrals- 10% off your photo disc and a $5 Starbucks or Jamba Juice gift card
6-10 referrals- 25% off your photo disc, free hard-bound photo album, and a $15 visa gift card
11-15 referrals- 50% off your photo disc, photo album, and a $25 visa gift card
16-20 or more referrals- FREE photo disc, photo album, $50 visa gift card, and a gallery wrapped canvas of your favorite image. 


Alright, whats next?


Before you can become an official senior rep, you must have permission from your parent or legal guardian. Once you’ve filled out the application and if you are selected as a representative, a phone or in person consultation with at least one of your parents or guardians is a must! As a parent myself, I know how important it is for your folks to know what you’ll be getting for participating, what is expected of you, and that you are all generally on the same page. Informed parents are happy parents! 


Now that you are ready to go, fill out the application and model release. Email it along with a head shot of yourself (nothing fancy your cell phone works fine!) to lulabellphotography@gmail.com by April 1, 2012 and go be a fan of the facebook page where I will announce the winning reps on April 6!


APPLICATION                   MODEL RELEASE