4 | happy birthday Ryan

31 lbs

3 feet 2.5 inches tall

Ryan, 

My sweet boy, my monkey man, my super hero. You are FOUR. You are amazing and I can't believe we have had you in our lives this long. I can't remember what my life was like before you. You are my world and I love it.

Four might be my favorite age so far- just don't mention that to Weston ;) You are the perfect amount of independent and dependent. You can get up in the morning and get some breakfast and play a bit on your own. You are can put on your own shoes and buckle your car seat. But you still let me carry you and want me to cuddle with you before bed every night. You still take naps and want me to help brush your teeth. I also want to shout from the roof tops despite the fact that this will embarrass you when you are older- you are TOTALLY potty trained. You started #1 on the toilet when you were 18 months old, it wasn't until after your 3rd birthday that you decided to wear underwear full time. Well it wasn't until last week you when you thought it would be okay to take care of your #2 business on the potty instead of in a diaper while you slept. Thank heavens that is taken care of, we all feel so liberated! We have had many celebrations and I cried happy tears. SO proud of you dude.

You are a good friend and a good brother, you take care of everyone around you. You help out and make sure everyone is happy! Weston looks up to you so much and you are learning how to make good choices so he can grow up having a great example. Keep up the good work!

You are about to wrap up your first year of preschool! I can't even believe it. You are almost reading and counting to 100. You love science and math and always bring home the best art projects. Our goal is to have you reading books on your own by the end of the year, you are so ready for it! It has been so great to watch you blossom. You were super nervous about being at school and it was great that Miss Kim would text me with updates and pictures as to how you were doing. I loved when I got a message that you played with someone else, that you talked a ton turning lunch time, and that you DANCED. You dance at home all the time but it took a while for you to be comfortable with dancing around other people. I am happy with the growth you have been making there it is so fun to watch.

Along with dancing you sing. All the time. About everything. You make up songs about power rangers and monsters, you sing to your food, and to your brother. We love it. You recently decided that you love beat boxing as well. After watching it on tv and hearing it on the radio you were hooked. I made a beat boxing station on pandora for you!

Your best friends are still Yia Yia and daddy. I know I am in there somewhere ;) but I am glad you love other people too since the first year it was all about mama time. You love papa and mimi and papi too! Grandparents are a huge part of your life. We talk to one of them pretty much every day and see them all regularly. You are so blessed to have them close and to have a strong relationship with them. Daddy and I both grew up close with our grandparents and it is important to us that you and your brother have the same thing. 

My favorite things about you are your laugh, your dimple that is just like mine, the way you say good morning every morning on my side of the bed, the way you say lellow (yellow) your love for your taggy, the way you still like me to cuddle with you, our talks in the car and over lunch, your love of sunshine and fresh air, that you want to start going on runs with me, your deep love of restaurants and target, the way you say your prayers and help out in class at church, your logic and 2 cents about everything, everywhere, all the time, the fact that you are still a little timid of new things and take your time, how you want to grow your hair out "long like the other Ryan at school" your fondness of personal hygiene and the way you dress, and your sweet but fire cracker personality.

I am so excited to see what this year hold for you little man! You are one incredible kid and I thank Heavenly Father daily that he trusts me to raise you right. We love you!

love,
mama

happy birthday weston t.

My dear sweet Weston,

Tomorrow is your first birthday! A year ago from right now I was sitting with your dad and your brother out to lunch, counting each contraction and getting anxious and excited for labor to pick up. It would be almost 24 hours later until I finally held you in my arms but you were well worth the wait my love. The way you came into this world is the way you have been these past 12 months. Magical and calm all the time. I love you so much for that gift you bring into our home every day. Your birth was one of my favorite experiences of my life and something I relive in my mind regularly.

Everywhere we go people stop to smile at you and you always smile back. You make everyone happy! I hope that is a talent you will be able to use throughout your life. When you were first born I noticed your magical ability to calm the mood and bring the spirit into our home and into my life. That can be such a blessing for you in your life and your future family.

I want you to know how much you are loved by your brother. From the moment I told him I was pregnant he has loved you. He would lay next to me every day and rub my growing belly and talk about you. When you two met for the first time it was brotherly love at first sight. Ryan wanted to hold you and cover you in kisses right away. You are his best bud and I think you are pretty fond of him too. You both spend your days playing with toys together and cuddling under your favorite blankets.

Your dad and I love you so much too of course. We sit and talk about you a lot, you came into our family when we weren't expecting it and you have been such a wonderful surprise the whole time. You are perfect for our family and we are so happy you belong to us forever. I can't believe you've been here a whole year already, it feels like it's been a month but then at the same time I can't remember my life before you.

Some of my favorite things about you are your laugh, you sound like a machine gun when you get going and its hilarious! I love your big toothy grin, I love the way you use sign language and make up your own stuff, I love the way you love your blanket and the tag just like Ryan does. I love how you are independent but still like to be cuddled. I love that you a great sleeper and eater! I love how you can sit and drive matchbox cars back and forth forever. I love how much you love to throw balls. I love that when daddy comes home you crawl as fast as you can down the hall to great him- he is your favorite person. I love how much you love your grandpas. and I love your golden brown hair thats finally starting to thicken up. I love your big sparkly dark blue eyes. I love everything about you.

While I wish you could stay my cuddly, nursing baby forever, I am looking forward to watching you grow up and see how your personality will blossom and see the great things you will accomplish in this life! You are my light, baby boy and I am so proud to be your mama.

Happy birthday my perfect baby boy! 

Love, 

Mama

dear ryan | 3 years old

Dear Ryan,

Yesterday you turned three years old. It has gone by so fast, yet I cant remember my life before you were in it. Just as I have said the past 2 birthdays- you amaze me. You continue to make me stretch and grow. You help build my faith and strengthen my character. You push me to set and reach goals, you make me want to be better. I bet you have no idea that at only three, you could accomplish so much. 

Baby boy, I have never laughed so much, cried so hard, or prayed more often than this last year with you. At two, you were barely speaking and then last fall your speech took off like a speeding train. You talk non stop all day, every day. You are loud and proud for sure, even your whispers in church can be heard in the back row. Your sense of humor is to die for- you understand sarcasm too and that makes for a pretty great time. You ask so many questions and insist on full understanding everything around you- from why daddy is at work, to where milk comes from. Everything is coming in full, grammatically correct sentences now and you sound so very grown up. You are my problem solver, just like your daddy. If we are out of milk you will  insist I go get some at target (where you think everything comes from) or if Weston is cranky you will tell me he needs a diaper change or to nurse. Though it creates quite the controversy when you want me to fix a popped balloon by blowing it up again- like hello mom! 

One of the greatest parts about you speaking so well is your ability to pray. Nothing melts my heart more than hearing you pray to Heavenly Father and thank him for Weston, for our house, and to help us be happy.

You may be all grown up and three now but there are still a few innocent, baby, things about you that I love and will desperately hold on to every day til they are gone. You still love me to carry you everywhere, you still cuddle on my lap any chance you get, you still like to use sippy cups so you dont have to be careful when you are taking a drink, you still make us lay in bed with you every night before you fall asleep and just prefer to sleep in our room if you have your way. You still dont like to venture very far and spend most of your day by my side. And best of all you are still obsessed with your taggy blanket. Thank you for not growing up too fast. I dont know if my heart could take it. 

You have always been a smarty pants but with you talking so much now its very apparent. Combine that with the fact that you never ever forget anything and its so cool! You count to 15, know the alphabet, can do basic subtraction and addition involving numbers up to 5, know all the colors, days of the week, and how to cook your own scrabbled eggs. You can tell me how to get places in the car, like various target locations, church, yia yia's house, daddy's work and so on... You know the names to all your favorite restaurants and would eat out every meal if we let you. Of course you are also very tech savvy and know how to work a computer mouse and keyboard, run the apple TV, call your family members, and cruise netflix on the xoom for the fresh beat band.

 This year was huge for you in so many ways too. You full filled one of your greatest missions so far- you became a big brother. From the time I told you I was pregnant you have been over flowing with joy and love for Weston. You had been telling us for quite some time before then, that we needed to have another baby. I knew you were just waiting for him because your world seemed complete the moment you first held him in the hospital. Every day since then has been like a dream (sometimes a crazy one of course) you love him so much and he feels the same about you. You two love to play together and you are the best at making him happy when hes sad- especially in the car. Its a great mommy moment to look in the rear view mirror and watch you guys laugh at each other. 

Your personality is making its self known more and more- its explosive in every way. You are loud, crazy, and hyper all the time. You run around non stop all day and fight us to sleep every night. You laugh and yell, and are constantly moving. Sometimes just watching you makes me tired, I dont know how you do it. There is never a dull moment when you're around. You always have something to show me or something you need.  You also have quite the tempter and three might be more difficult than two! You seem to be very emotional over everything and its not uncommon for you to throw your self on the floor in a puddle of sobbing tears, even if its just because we are out of bubbles. 

But you are pretty flipping cute so its all good. Above is your "scowly" face. Kills me every time. Happy 3rd birthday monkey man, We love you to the moon and back. 

Love,

Mommy and Daddy 

Dear Ryan, 2nd birthday

Dear Ryan,

I noticed today that I don't call you Monkey much these days. I wonder if thats a sign I am letting you go as my baby and embracing the big boy you are now. Today is your second birthday and I cant believe its been that long since I first held you in my arms. I am so incredibly proud of all you've done this last year. You have gone through so many changes and are such a wonderful little boy. Since your last birthday you started walking, embraced soy milk, eating with a fork and spoon, drinking out of a cup without spilling, learned to jump, started coloring, stay on a big kid swing, went potty on the toilet tons of times, started sleeping in a big boy bed, and so much more.

You learned tons of signs this year and started saying a few more words. Combined your vocab count comes to around 60 words! I am excited to see you start putting sentences together so we can understand you more.

(showing your muscles)

In October you started going to the nursery at church, it took a bit of convincing and the right girls to make you happy in there and now you love it every week and dont want to leave. Daddy and I love to see the pictures you color and hear about the things you were taught each week. You have become so reverent and we can see already your respect for the Lord and your faith in His plan. Some of my favorite times of the day are when you remind me that we need to bless the food before we eat or we all kneel to pray before bed. You now know enough signs to say a prayer by yourself. You can also help mommy sign some of your favorite hymns.

Another fun thing is that you have learned how to open doors! That combined with you being in a big boy bed makes for lots of sleepovers in Mommy and Daddys room. We love it because we miss when we co slept with you as an infant. You still have a hard time sleeping and I see our napping days slowly slipping away! Sadly, you still get up a few times each night. I have just embraced that, that is the way its going to be.

Your personality is starting to shine through more and more each day. You are so aware of everything around you- people, sounds, sights, and smells. Nothing ever goes unnoticed to you! You have amazing energy, you will go and go all day til we force you to go sleep. I chuckle when I see other kids fall asleep on the floor or in their high chair- that would never happen in our house, ever. You are so interested in HOW things work. You will take things apart and examine them til you figure it out. You can turn on the tv and find what movie you want to watch, unlock my cell phone and call daddy, and unlock the car with a key. Your intelligence is outstanding! I wish I could count all of the crazy smart things we see you do, it still catches us off guard sometimes. At the same time you are possibly the most stubborn, strong willed person I have ever met! You dont take no for an answer and you can never be distracted from what you want. It makes for some interesting power struggles between us but I love you all the same.  You are also so caring and kind. You love to hold babies and give your friends hugs, you share your toys and snacks with everyone and always wave hi to grownups. You are happy when we are happy and sad when we are sad. You are so intuitive all the time.

And now you are going to be a big brother. I have always known you would be amazing at the job. I can see you being so strong for your siblings and being such a good example for them as you all grow up. When I told you we were having another baby you jumped into my arms with the biggest smile on your face and I knew you were so happy to finally have this baby finally join our family. You see, you have been telling Daddy and I that it was time for another baby for a while now. You have already told us the gender so I am interested to find out if you are right! I cant wait to see you hold your baby and give them kisses. But as for now I am looking forward to the next 7 months with just you and me little dude.

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, we are so happy that you are ours forever! Happy Birthday Ryan Douglas.

All grown up.. kind of

Happy Birthday baby boy, you are now practically a toddler! Daddy and I love you so much!! Best part today was when you and daddy woke me up and we got to cuddle in bed and sing happy birthday and have a tickle fight. I love it when you come wake me up with daddy in the morning and grab my face as to say "HELLO MOMMY I"M HERE!" I love your little chubby feet, and your bucky beaver teeth. I love your dimples and how you screech really high when you are laughing. I love that you still have no hair but have enough chompers to eat steak and corn on the cob with us. I love that you can stand up on your own but are still too timid to take that first step. Please stay my baby a little bit longer. I love that you have big blue eyes that make the biggest tears when I get to far away or say "No". I love that you still like to be held if only for a minute. I love that you will bring me your blanket and want me to suck on its tag like you do. I love that I can always distract you with food. I love that you like to look at books and play with your toys all by yourself. You are very good at being independent as long as I am within eye sight. I love that you sleep through the night  better than you used too and that you sleep in the craziest positions. I love that you give kisses like a flirt. I love that you dance. I love everything about you!

Cool things now that you are a big kid.... you can drink out of a straw (mastered that one already!) learn to walk, then run, then chase everything littler than you. Drink milk, ride forward in the car, go to nursery soon, someday go to preschool, then ride a bike, play ball, get baptized, learn to tie your shoes, drive a car, kiss a girl, go on a mission, get married , ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.................................. ok I have to stop that's too much.

I remember the night before I had you (here come my tears) how excited I was to see you face to face AGAIN. I know I knew you before we all came here, you have been my baby forever and always will be. I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant with you that you were my little Ryan. I was so excited to hear your cry and to look into those perfect blue eyes of yours and tell you how much I love you. You sure gave me a run for my money when you were in my belly and havent stopped this whole year but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so grateful our Heavenly Father has trusted me to raise you in the world we live in today. I also remember the night before your birth how nervous I was. How can I keep you safe, how I can I make sure you know WHO you are and WHERE you came from and WHERE you are going? how can I make sure you know Heavenly Father and I and your Daddy love you SO much, along with the rest of your family? I hope that I can be a good mommy to you and that you will know all these things someday. Please make good choices, please always make us proud, be the boy and someday man we know you are.

Tonight before I put you to bed you laid your head on my shoulder and closed your eyes, let out a big sigh and practically fell asleep. Without nursing. That was the best birthday present ever.