Thursday, December 15, 2011

love language

I am a firm believer in love language. A while back hubs and I even took the little test online to see what our love languages are. Of course they are totally different from one another but it helped us to know what the other persons needs were and how we could be better spouses for each other. If I sit back and look at my family and close friends I can somewhat tell what their love languages are, it can be fascinating.

Our love language isnt something that comes with time and years of life. I really feel like it is something we are born with. Ryan's is no doubt touch and physical connection. There is a reason that he hangs on me all day and cuddles with me all night. He needs that to thrive and be happy. I can tell when we havent had enough touch time. He struggles with basic tasks, he doesnt sleep well, he doesnt eat well, he has a hard time paying attention. My greatest downfall is touch is not my love language. In the heat of the moment at times all I want him to do is go sit on the couch and leave me alone. When I get to that point I have to take a big step back and remember that his needs are different than mine. The way he feels secure, the way he feels and shows love and trust-- its by laying his head on my shoulder and patting my back, its not by sitting next to me but on me on the couch.

There are times when hubs and I sit back and say, wow things with Ryan are really good right now. He seems to be doing well in all areas of his life. I have to tell you that it is because his love tank is full. His love language needs are being met. Dont we all function better when our needs are met? The same goes for the little ones of course.

Its my job as his mama to make sure that his needs are met, those needs go far beyond food, clothing, shelter- by keeping his love tank full, and doing it the way he needs, he is learning trust, confidence, and love. He is learning that no matter what we have his back, we are there for him 100% I am happy going to bed each night because I know I am providing that for my son and will be able to do it for the next little boy too.

Sometimes I feel like I am failing as a parent. He doesnt always eat perfect, heaven and all of you know that he doesnt sleep perfect, and I have whined on here enough about how stubborn and persistent he is. But tonight hubs and I talked about HOW we are doing as parents. Sometimes its nice to take a step back and reevaluate things a bit. Is there anything else we can do for him that we arent, are there any areas that need work and so on. Other than him having a little too much sugar we are confident that we are doing everything we can to be the best parents to him, we are fulfilling his needs (as annoying or time consuming or physically draining they may be) we are creating a happy, safe environment for him to thrive in.

I think we deserve a nice big pat on the back.

What is your child's love language? Read more about the 5 Love Languages here to find out more.

this post was inspired by Casey's love language post

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