Monday, October 25, 2010

day 3

Something you have to forgive yourself for
I can think of so many things. I am trying to balance between something light and something that is just too much for 1 little blog to handle. 
I need to forgive myself for not being a better sibling. I let my brother and sisters down big time I feel. They have all struggled with life in their teen years and I feel like a lot of that is my fault. I wasnt always kind, and I wasnt always a good example. I didnt work to form a united bond with the 4 of us.. the kind of bond that can carry you through the hard years and help build lasting relationships with the little cousins that will come down the road. There will be no family reunions, or big family vacations. I sometimes morn the loss of my family. They are all still there but it will be months in between talking or seeing each other. I wish I would have cherished the years I spent sharing a bedroom with middle sister, and watching movies with my brother. I wish I would have paid more attention to baby sister and realized that a strong example and a friend was what she needed most out of me. 
I forgive myself. 

8 comments:

Miss Mouse and Me said...

You can't change what has happened in the past, but you can change the future. my sister and I were not close until just a few years ago (she is 28), and by "not close" i mean we didn't see each other AT ALL!! now we talk all the time and she is a wonderful auntie for graycie. I pray your relationship with them changes and you can ALL forgive and have the relationship you want and need

Joanne said...

I can really relate to this as I to i'm not close to my 3 sisters and lately have felt that although they have not been that nice to me I could of tried harder to keep them in my life if not for me for my 3 children. Who really don't know they're aunties.
Enjoy your week
Joanne

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Sorry that deleted comment was mine!

Forgiving yourself is the HARDEST thing to do. We tend to beat ourselves up for things we cannot change. But I think you still have a chance to change this (like Miss mouse and me said). Maybe you feel like things are unforgivable, but I think admitting things is probably the hardest step!

I feel like this, especcially with my brother..is alienated the right term? Really we have just grown apart, there are alot of things I'd have done different and change if I could. I have tried harder to keep in touch with him (even if it's just through facebook or texting) just to start opening the lines of communication. I think things are getting better though.

I just want you to know that I am impressed that you can share these things on your blog! You are certainly expressing some of my same sentiments! I told Connel if we ever find ourselves heading up that direction, we have to visit you and yours!

hannah nicole said...

we still love you. we all make mistakes sometimes.

hannah nicole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindy Leigh said...

I think it happens a lot...I am not really close to my siblings...I was close to my little brother but he has even become more distant. Not because of anything but life happening. None of us spends holidays together...but we still have love!

Tashara said...

I kinda feel that way now. That post really struck me. Thank you. I need to be the big sister and really reach out to my siblings now so that when I'm older I can be friends with them.

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