#goodchoicejar

Do you guys ever feel like you are totally dropping the parenting ball? I do, a lot, usually every day around 4:30 when both kids start completely melting into emotional messes.

I will admit I resort to raising my voice more often than I should... even spanking (and the crowd goes silent while someone throws rotten food at me) I refuse to raise entitled brats as brash as that sounds. I have spent my fair share around kids and teenagers the last few years and it is a sad scary thing to witness. I want my kids to have good manners, respect their elders for the sole fact that they are older than them, freely serve others, and understand that their actions big and small effect everyone around them.

I want them to make good choices because obedience makes them happy and they like feeling good about it and not out of fear of the consequences from poor choices. I can dream that they will clean their rooms because they it makes them feel peaceful and relaxed after not because they will be grounded or have their phone taken away if they don't.... a mom can dream right?

So we have started the Good Choice Jar. We had a little family meeting about it tonight- the plan is for me and hubs to keep a few in our pockets or near by throughout the day, if we see Ryan making "a good choice" like clearing his plate, helping Weston, playing nicely, getting his shoes on without a fight, or even flushing the toilet he gets a marble to put in the jar. I will be handing them out in abundance the first bit to get the momentum going, anything I see that is positive gets rewarded! There are 2 reward levels, half full and full. Ryan decided on what he wants for each and is stoked, he already earned 4 tonight.

I think it will also be good for ME as a mom to look for the good things during my day, and when things are really hard I can see the jar and think of all the awesome moments we had instead of dwelling on the bad. I pray it will change my view of parenting these littles. I know I will have to focus more on them to notice the good and I hope to give at least 10 marbles out tomorrow.

We have set some strict rules for ourselves as parents because we want the jar to be solely positive, remember making good choices because he WANTS too. No threatening "if you don't do this you won't get a marble..." or taking them away for bad behavior. Sure the bad stuff will still be punished with timeouts and losing other privileges like always but I want to shift the focus to rewarding GOOD behavior. Kids want attention regardless so let's give them way more attention for good than bad and hopefully if will shift overall behavior. Right....? Maybe....?

I posted on Instagram about it and people seemed pretty excited so I am using the #goodchoicejar if you decide to do it with your kids use it too! I can follow it on IG or twitter, it will be fun to watch. I will update with my progress as well.

wish us luck!